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Is Linkedin A Hookup Site

6/12/2022
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Sysadmin blog In case you've been living under a rock, Microsoft has bought LinkedIn. Unlike many, you'll notice I'm not laughing. I am not amused. I'm am, in fact, quite afraid.

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In many regions – my home nation of Canada being one of them – LinkedIn absolutely dominates career discovery and acquisition. Note the term 'career'. Jobber McJobs can be had in the traditional fashion, but if you want something that isn't poverty-tier and has the faintest hint of a prayer of upwards mobility, you are going to use LinkedIn.

Perhaps more to the point, unless you're on LinkedIn, with a well-crafted and carefully curated profile, you're a nobody. You don't exist. And who you know – via your connections and endorsements – plays an ever-increasing role in the quality and type of job you can obtain in today's increasingly socially-networked knowledge economy.

Now Microsoft, a convicted monopolist that distributes product marketing nagware as security updates and who has proven serially untrustworthy will own the gateway to your career.

Fan-frakking-tastic.

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A disordered mind

In no particular order – much like the never-ending stream of emails I get from both Microsoft and LinkedIn – here are my thoughts on the consequences of the Microsoft/LinkedIn collision.

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Some things could actually be useful. Microsoft has done an okay job with the Microsoft Virtual Academy. I can see similarities here with LinkedIn's Lynda.com training site; a training site that, quite frankly, is actually rather good.

Microsoft doesn't like criticism. Being Microsoft, however, they get rather a lot of it. LinkedIn has been aspiring to become a content publishing platform for some time. Moosh all this together and I see the inevitable rise of a technology magazine so sycophantically pro-Microsoft that even Ed Bott would blush.

There's a whole new market to be had creating a Sadville-like virtual city of HoloLens-powered virtual offices. LinkedIn would be an obvious banner under which to grow this effort. Telecommuting employees could be in the office even when not physically in the office, with their attentiveness and productivity tracked and subjected to analytics in ways that aren't possible with a physical office.

Why restrict yourself to physical employees? Mash up the Microsoft Store with LinkedIn and the emerging 'bot economy' can really take off!

Naturally, Cortana is the obvious choice for all roles in all companies, but if for some reason you want a different virtual employee then Microsoft will now have a head start in finding it for you. And, of course, 30 per cent off your monthly subscription to it. Forget Clippy: with everything Cortana knows about you she can auto-generate your LinkedIn profile. Progress!

In fact, given Microsoft's move towards removing customer control over their environment, it wouldn't shock me if everyone got an auto-generated profile by default. Getting manual control over your profile would probably require an Enterprise SA agreement with a minimum of five users at {extortionate amount} per month.

Microsoft have shown that they are not above using malware techniques to push Windows 10. All that really remains is ransomware. Why hold a desktop to ransom, however, when you can hold someone's entire career? It would really suck if Microsoft's purchase of LinkedIn evolves, (or devolves,) into Peeple, but 'for professionals', and with careers on the line.

The spectacularly creepy possibilities

Bing can already be used to help predict if you have cancer. If you start throwing together everything Cortana hoovers up, Microsoft has a pretty good idea of your entire life.

Cortana knows everything you do. Your search history, the files you create, the applications you open and even for how long you have those applications as the foreground application. Every letter you type, every website you visit, every news article you read, every second you slack off; Cortana knows it all.

Imagine how valuable all that information is. Wrap it in a layer of bull about 'pesudoanonymous' whatever in an attempt to make those pesky privacy fuzzy wuzzies go away and you could sell that as part of employer analytics, employee/employer 'matching', you name it.

Looking for a work-from-home type that actually works eight hours a day? Now Cortana can give you a list of profiles! Looking for people who get paid eight hours a day but actually work 12? Cortana knows!

How about auxiliary information? Maybe your goal is to reduce corporate medical insurance costs. Cortana also knows how much time you spend on the Xbox, and how much of that is sedentary gaming versus Kinect-powered exercise. Hell, Cortana can probably even use the Kinect to tract the evolution of your body shape to determine if you meet corporate fitness guidelines.

Cortana's knowledge and LinkedIn's connections and endorsements information combine to make an attractive Big Data pool about employees.

Think about the 'with whom do these people interact?' and 'what does these people do with their spare time?' question for a moment. {Insert creepy overly invasive government agency here} already uses metadata like this to find out if we terrorists, smoke weed, speak out too frequently about human rights, vote for the wrong party or put out too many bags of garbage.

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The combined personal information Microsoft will have on us is not only very attractive to governments, it is attractive to employers. For example, Microsoft could create a 'thought leadership' metric that is industry or job title specific. Does that potential employee really have the chops to be a social media nerd? Is your sysadmin secretly an influential powerhouse in the virtualization industry?

Think of the analytics possibilities! What level of risk do your employees present if they decide to say negative things about you? Have any employees started communicating, searching for or connecting with your competitors recently? Are they searching for a new job?

The more we move out of the professional side, the creepier it gets. Are you good with money? Do you have debt problems? Do you get along with your parents? How healthy is your marriage? Do you talk to friends a lot? How often do you play what kinds of video games? What movies do you watch? TV shows? What books do you read? Where do you travel? What kind of hotels do you stay in?

Give me access to this kind of data and I'll tell you what kind of risk you are as an employee. Are you a train wreck whose personal life will constantly get in the way of work? Or one of those pee-in-jars types that gets so into their work I can chain you to a desk and periodically throw Snickers bars over the roof?

Selling the information Cortana collects directly would be illegal. Selling pesudoanonymous 'scores' in various areas, if done right, would absolutely be legal in the US. And as we all know, only the US's laws ever actually matter.

It's all a bit of fun...right?

When you consider what a combined Microsoft and LinkedIn know about you, the possibilities are pretty scary. The same could be said of others, of course, so everything ultimately boils down to how much - or if - you trust Microsoft.

Now, I've been having fun writing this. Most of this is likely to be over the top paranoia, upjumped for a bit of a larf and hopefully provoke a thought or two. Or so I hope.

On the other hand, many HR departments hire entirely by certification, resulting in IT departments full of certified idiots who can't actually do anything in the real world. Add to this that Microsoft does seem obsessed with emulating Apple and Google at every turn, and Google seems to hoover up every scrap of information about everything (and everyone) that it can find.

So maybe – just maybe – some of the above fears are justified. Which ones ultimately form part of tomorrow's dystopia, that's up for grabs. What do you think? What could the Microsoft/LinkedIn mashup give birth to? Answers in the comments, please. ®

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No one has ever said, “You know what we need? Another dating site.” But what about a non-dating site that becomes a dating site over time? Such might be the case with LinkedIn—which, at over 450 million members, is the world’s largest professional networking site. Though its intended purpose is to help users keep tabs on their career connections and facilitate networking with people in their field, over the last few years it has, for some users, also become a place to troll for dates.

Personally, I receive more messages from guys hitting on me than I do from people looking for professional advice or opportunities. Sometimes it feels like I can no longer trust my LinkedIn inbox: Like, I’ve been sent dick pics via LinkedIn on two separate occasions.

So does that make LinkedIn the new Tinder? Is this trend even actually a trend?

While we don’t have exact numbers (LinkedIn declined to comment for this article), plenty of people we talked to had encountered a LinkedIn connection taking advantage of the site’s, um, alternative uses. Molly Fedick, a dating app expert and editor-in-chief of Hinge’s official blog, IRL, says that though she thinks using LinkedIn as a dating app is totally inappropriate, she can understand why someone would do it. “LinkedIn has the lowest barrier to entry and is the least ‘risky’ social platform to connect with someone,” she says. “If you get rejected, you can always default to, ‘Well, I just wanted to connect for professional reasons.’ This is why I think people use LinkedIn to ‘test the waters’— they view it as less aggressive than a Facebook or Instagram request.”

If it is a certifiable trend, it's both interesting and problematic. When a site’s purpose is to offer a secure platform for strangers in the same professional fields to network and find gains in the workplace, something is intrinsically lost when those implicit boundaries are crossed.

A lack of distinction can make the platform look like “a neutral way to gauge someone’s interest,” says 'Brea' (who asked that we not use her real name), 27. But when we spoke to both male and female LinkedIn users who claimed they had been approached on the site, most of them also expressed that they no longer saw it as a safe space devoid of sexual tension. Which is fair: Once the line between what LinkedIn is designed for (professional networking) and what some people seem to be using it for (dating) becomes blurred, things can get pretty complicated. If someone reaches out to you on LinkedIn and you don’t have any certainty of their intentions, how do you know if it’s a date or a networking opportunity?

Alice Jones, 23, says she had one such confusing interaction. “The hottest guy from my high school slid into my LinkedIn DMs. He lives in NYC too, so he reached out to me being like, ‘OMG, I heard you live here too, we should get together sometime and grab a coffee,’” she recalls. “I was like, Why coffee? Does he actually wanna professionally connect, or is he trying to bang? Then we ended up getting drinks and not coffee. We even had a little dinner and he paid. So I think it was a date? Still unclear.”

Steve Dean, an online dating consultant and founder of Dateworking warns against the overlap of professional networking and dating: “Calling LinkedIn a dating platform would poison the well, metaphorically, leading to an exodus of users who have neither the time nor the emotional stamina to fend off barrages of unwanted suitors.”

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But it’s not always a bad thing. For Emilia and Dave, LinkedIn was the first step to finding a long-term romantic relationship. As Emilia was approaching graduation from the University of Connecticut, she realized she had no idea how to get the professional experience required to qualify for an MBA program. She took to LinkedIn to build her professional network, where she found Dave. “He worked in music, beer/alcohol, and marketing—all of which were target industries,” she says, then admits, “But mainly, his profile picture was utterly captivating.”

Eventually, she reached out. “As soon as I got out of class and found his reply, I emailed him to ask for some of his time to discuss his experiences working with different brands and in different roles in the marketing industry.” LinkedIn messages quickly turned into emails, which escalated to phone calls. They finally met in New York City in March 2014, where they fell in love. They’re still together—all thanks to LinkedIn. “We haven’t looked back since,” she says.

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There is, of course, a sinister side to using it this way. For some of the people we spoke to, LinkedIn has also been used as a way for cheaters to hit on people while avoiding suspicion—using the guise of professionalism to be pretty damn unprofessional.

Marie (who asked that we not use her full name), 23, knew her neighbor was married. She also knew—from fights she could hear through their building’s paper-thin walls—that his relationship with his wife was on the rocks. “He came over for literally no reason the other night and told me everything,” she tells Glamour. “We wound up going for a walk and then sitting on our apartment roof for a while. I then get a weird message on LinkedIn the next day—he clearly didn’t want his wife to know he was chatting up girls. He was using LinkedIn to cover his tracks since it’s a professional website.”

This further muddies the waters: After all, if these people are using the platform’s professional focus as a way to hide their flirtation, a gradual shift toward more common dating use would probably foil the plan.

“I had a man pursue me on LinkedIn, strike up an email correspondence, and talk about having a personal relationship, and then I figured out he was married,” says Ashley B., 26. “I called him on it and he then said he wasn't trying to hit on me.”

In a separate Glamour interview about dating apps, Dean pointed out that what made Tinder so popular was its original aversion to being labeled a dating app: “Tinder says, ‘Do whatever the hell you want; we’re just going to show you people who are nearby and likely to start talking to you.’” It’s the lack of formal dating pressure that made Tinder such a benign way to meet people.

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Likewise, LinkedIn does not tout itself as anything other than a professional networking site. Doesn’t that make it sort of inevitable that it would be used for other kinds of networking?

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While we’re not sure we’d recommend making LinkedIn your new match.com, the days of it being a clear-cut networking site appear to be coming to an end.

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Mind your inboxes, ladies and gents.