What To Say In A Dating Site First Email
Prepping to send your first message on dating app to that cute someone who’s caught your eye?
- What To Say In A Dating Site First Email Address
- What To Say In First Online Dating Message
- What To Say In A Dating Site First Email Account
These days, now that women have seen and heard it all on dating apps, making a lasting first impression seems freaking impossible. So we asked 20 real women to divulge the perfect one-liners, questions, and messages they wish men would send on mobile apps or dating sites. Weekday evenings online generally the examples time to send site online dating icebreaker. Many women first from a long day at work by first up a dating app while catching up on Netflix. According say Nielsen, activity on both OkCupid free Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly actually after 10 pm. What To Say In First Email Online Dating Examples dating app, it What To Say In First Email Online Dating Examples is an exclusive sex site of people looking to get laid, meet, or fuck at a moments notice - members are not looking for serious relationships. First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs. Funny online dating messages get responses because women naturally find guys with a sense of humor attractive. It’s true – scientists have proven it. But the key to having a successful first message, of course, is actually being funny. On Tinder, you can pair an attention-grabbing GIF with a. To help inspire your own messages and to give you a place to start, we put together a few online dating first message examples you can pick and choose from. Ranging from a simple hello or an interesting question, to funny and flirty messages that help you stand out; there are over 100 online dating first message examples to help you get the.
I know how it is – it’s exciting and scary. You’re eager to catch their eye and get the conversation started, but you’re afraid that what you write won’t be compelling enough.
Your heart beating wildly, all kinds of thoughts race through your mind: What if I screw this up? What if I write something so lame that they don’t reply? Dammit.
Well, let’s flip that: What if you write something so gosh darn awesome they can’t help but reply?
But we get it. Crafting that first online dating message is daunting. Because that opening message is so crucial to getting a reply, it has to be done right.
Depending on dating apps and dating sites you're using and what your bio mentions, the openers can vary. So, we have shared plenty of examples that you can simply copy and paste.
12 Online Dating Openers For First Message
First Message Strategy #1: Introduce Yourself
There’s a LOT to be said for introducing yourself in your first message, and yet so many people don’t do it.
Why not? Well, perhaps they just forget.
But here’s the thing: Introducing yourself is basic online dating etiquette and it’s exactly what you’d do in most other real-life social scenarios.
Just picture yourself at a networking event, for example. What’s the first thing you might say to someone you’ve met that night? Maybe you’ll open with a wry observation of something that happened that night, but the most likely option you’ll take is to introduce yourself.
First Message Examples to introduce yourself
“Hey! I’m Chloe :)”
It’s that simple and it’s safe and risk-free.
First Message Strategy #2: Introduce Yourself With a Twist
If a simple hello seems too safe and risk-free, you can be a little bit more adventurous should you wish.
I often like to open with a quick joke before transitioning to my introduction.
First Message Examples:
“Is it just me or *insert witty observation here* …
“Ha. Hi! I’m Will.”
Starting with a joke is a little bit more exciting and it helps to build rapport before going in with the introduction line.
If cracking a joke isn’t your forte (at least online) then you can try something a bit different. Like this:
“Hola! I’m sad to say that’s the only Spanish I know :(.”
“Ha. Hey, I’m Julia. How’s it going?”
Whatever you decide to open with, following it with your intro is always a smart idea because it encourages them to do the same. All of a sudden, you’ve both introduced yourselves and a small connection has been made.
Moreover, introducing yourself shows you’ve got basic manners. It looks so much better than leading with something like this: “What’s up?”
First Message Strategy #3: Use Their Name
Addressing them by their name in your first message shows that you’ve taken the care to actually read their online dating profile properly, and it shows that this is definitely not a generic message. Even though it’s such a small thing, it can help to build rapport and a feeling of warmth straight away.
Examples:
“Hey Mike!”
Then, you can work on introducing yourself. Like this:
“Hey Mike! I’m Lydia.”
First Message Strategy #4: Tell Them It’s Nice To Meet Them
Sometimes, you have to be a bit clever with how you write your message so that you get a response.
For example, you could plant a seed in their subconscious mind that’s designed to encourage them to respond.
First Message Examples:
“Hey Mike! I’m Lydia. Nice to meet you.”
By using that simple phrase – it’s nice to meet you – you’re assuming they’re going to reply. This assumption can be very powerful on a subconscious level as it’s saying to them that, yeah, it’s really nice to meet you, too.
First Message Strategy #5: Pick Up On Something On Their Profile
When you pick up on something that’s unique to their profile, you’re demonstrating that you’ve taken the time to read their profile properly and that you’re not just using the same copy-and-paste message you use on other people.
This is, of course, impossible to do if they haven’t written anything in their bio and have pretty boring pics. If that’s the case, well, my question is this: Why would you message them at all?
If I’m stuck for something to say in my opener to someone, I take a look at their bio and pick something out to comment on.
Admittedly, this kind of thing can require some mental gymnastics. For example, if they’ve written something like “Netflix, wine, and cheese,” you don’t have a lot to go off. But there’s something there at least and you just need to use your imagination.
First Message Examples:
“Hey, I noticed you like Netflix too. Pleaseeeee tell me you were as sad as I was that Stranger Things ended!!”
“If haloumi isn’t in your top 3 cheeses we can’t be friends.”
First Message Strategy #6: Kick Start a Conversation With a Question
One of the easiest ways to get a response from someone is to ask a question.
That said, your question has to be at least one of these things:
- Compelling
- Unusual
- Interesting
- Fun
- Funny
First Message Examples:
“How was your weekend?” could get you a response. But it’s pretty lame and even if you did get a response, where is the conversation going to go? What you want to do is ask a question that will almost guarantee an interesting response that will kick start a convo.
There are a variety of interesting and fun open ended questions that you can ask, and we haven’t got the time to go into them here. But I always feel it’s a good idea to go with one that creates room for a bit of role-play.
Like this:
“We’re the last two people on earth. There’s a knock at our door! What do we do?!”
“What your favorite movie that you can never stop watching?”
“What's your favorite band and why?”
“What you love to do in your spare time? ”
“What's your favorite restaurant?”
This will engage them, it will get them thinking and it will elicit a fun response that allows room for you both to create a mini-story.
First Message Strategy #7: Keep It Short and Sweet
It’s pretty wrenching when you craft a super long message that you’re really proud of and you know is interesting … but they don’t reply.
What gives?
It hurts more when people don’t reply to long messages, mainly because it’s taken you so much time and effort for zero rewards.
However, you should put yourself in the shoes of the other person. Imagine you’re in a bar and a cute someone walks up to you. During their ‘introduction,’ they talk for 10 minutes without letting you get a word in.
Wow. It’s just too much.
And it’s more or less the same with online dating. It’s best to keep it short (but not too short – 100 characters is a good rule of thumb) and sweet. Introduce yourself, pick up on something on their profile and maybe ask a question, too. But don’t overwhelm them.
First Message Strategy #8: Focus On Common Interests
Make sure you don’t fall into No-Man’s Land by mentioning things you don’t have in common.
So many guys and girls forget to establish a common ground. On dating sites and dating apps, profiles have a lot to information that can help you establish a common ground so make sure you look at other person's profile.
First Message Examples:
“Hey, wow, that’s so cool you went skydiving. I’ve never done it! What’s it like?”
While this might get them talking about themselves, it’s not really good for creating that initial spark that’s so important.
This is why it’s a MUCH smarter idea to – for now at least – bring up things you have in common, and which you can have an early laugh about.
First Message Strategy #9: Barely Talk About Yourself
Your opener should be focused on the other person, so try to keep any talk about you to a minimum. There’s no need to brag about your achievements in your opener or to bowl them over with a “hilarious” anecdote.
You could create a rapport by mentioning something that you both have in common, but always make sure to steer things back to them.
First Message Examples:
“Haha I’m a Netflix addict too! What’s your all-time fav show?”
If you focus too much on yourself in your very first online dating message, it’s going to make you look too self-obsessed straight away.
First Message Strategy #10: Tease Them
Teasing someone early on is a tad risky but if you pull it off just right, it can really work for you.
Examples of such online dating openers:
let’s say someone’s written that they’re a Taurus in their profile. I might then open with a message like this:
“Dammit. I was going to say that you’re absolutely perfect but then I realized you’re a Taurus. I’m a Leo. Unfortunately, I can’t get with a Taurus.”
Now, this type of message could backfire to the point where you don’t get a reply because – for some people – it’s got a negative theme. On the other hand, it’s a great way to tease someone straight away and elicit curiosity.
If they’re into your profile, they might be thinking “Heck, why can’t they get with a Taurus?”
And they’ll straight out ask you.
First Message Strategy #11: Don’t Go Heavy With The Compliments
While saying something like “Oh, nice hair! How’d you get it to stay looking like that??” is perfectly fine, something like “You’re honestly the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” is way too cringe and weird in your opening message.
First Message Strategy #12: Don’t Send a Follow Up Message
Lastly, once your opener has been signed, sealed, and delivered, it’s time to message other people.
Why? Because this will get you out of the mindset whereby you’re waiting for a reply from that one person.
And when you wait for a reply from one person, it’s very easy to get obsessed to the point where you send them a follow-up message when they don’t respond. Like this:
“Hey! I know you haven’t replied yet but just thought I’d give this one last shot because you do look super cool.”
The follow up is a massive no-no because it subconsciously makes them un-attracted to you. The best thing to do is to shoot a few other people a message so that you’re not fixated by one person.
Takeaway: Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how awesome your icebreaker is, they won’t get back to you. Maybe they just don't check the dating app, maybe they’re super busy or maybe they’re already super into someone else. But if you keep refining your starter message and use these online dating tips to score more dates.
Determining what the right thing to say in your first online dating message to a woman can be tough. How do you get a woman's attention when she might be getting bombarded by messages 24/7?
We analyzed thousands of messages from men across the country and created the infographic below to give you a peek into how other guys are doing it. Find out what everyone else is doing so you can stand out!
What Men Are Saying In Their First Online Dating Message
What To Say In A Dating Site First Email Address
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Our team has combed through and analyzed thousands of messages sent to women by younger men in our research study to see exactly what they say in their first message and how you can use that data to improve your own online dating success.
We collected our message data from many different attractive women interested in dating younger men with widely varying:
- Locations
- Careers and incomes
- Ethnicities
- Religions
- Interests
- Ages (primarily 30-45)
Our goal was to create a general picture of how men initially communicate with older women online and we believe we have put together a fantastic picture. This is info that you can use everywhere online from the few legit hookup sites and apps to more traditional dating sites.
How To Use This In Your Own First Online Dating Message
There are 10 key takeaways from this infographic that can help you in your dating life:
1. Give her something to work with
The first message shouldn’t be a novel but it should make it easy for her to respond.
Nearly a quarter of men just said something like 'Hi' or 'what's up'.
Way to set yourself apart from the pack guys....
In this day and age, assume most people have ADD online - you only have a VERY brief window to catch someone’s attention.
This is especially true for a woman in online dating who has HUNDREDS of matches.
You DO NOT want to make her work to like you.
Most guys kept the first message under 20 words.
Shorter and punchier is better but 20 words may be too short.
If you just send her the typical 'Hi' or 'Whats up' you are going to get a very boring response. This is a type of message you should probably avoid sending.
Do you think that is a great way to start of the interaction?
2. Don’t be afraid to talk about yourself
Dale Carnegie said that a person’s favorite topic of conversation is themselves.
But if you never tell a woman anything about you in your first online dating message, she has nothing to be attracted to… unless she’s 100% superficial and only looking at your bod.
Only 14% of all men talked about themselves when it came to messaging older women.
Yes, it’s good to keep the focus of the conversation on her, what she likes, and so on… But make sure to tell her about you!
Hit her with a few of the more interesting tidbits about yourself so that she will want to learn more. This is a great way to talk to girls online.
3. Most men talk about their fitness level or height (so don't)
So what should you talk about with the older woman and tell her about?
If you want to be different, DON’T talk about fitness level or your height… 63% and 42% of all men, respectively, messaged about those things.
Women do care about that stuff obviously.
But get her more interested in your personality and who you are.
Here are some more interesting things you can talk to her about:
- Travel
- Hobbies
- Things you have in common
- A funny moment
- Your motivations for what you do during the day
Take it deeper and don’t just be like any other guy.
Online dating is a numbers game but with a tiny bit more effort, you can drastically improve your results and your first message response rate.
4. If you’re going to compliment her be specific
Too many guys gave women a generic compliment in their first online dating message.
When it came to complimenting a woman’s appearance, 50% said something like, “You are hot.”
60% said something like, “I like your profile.”
This is boring.
This doesn’t make her feel like you actually looked at or care about her.
You’ve got to be a bit different.
Find something specific you can compliment her on if you want to charm her: Her eyes, an article of clothing she’s wearing, even a personality trait that comes across while you two are texting.
Women don’t get that type of compliment a lot so it makes you stand out from the crowd and catches her attention.
5. A lot of guys go right for the date
8% of men asked the older woman out on a date in their first message.
While this can be seen as a bold move it is typically not very successful unless you are incredibly good looking.
A woman is not going to meet you offline unless she is interested in you and comfortable with you.
Peaking her interest can be pretty easy if you can convey that you have your life together through your profile.
Getting her comfortable enough to actually meet usually takes a little more work.
If you are blasting out messages to every girl you see online and don't care which you meet that is one thing.
If you are more selective and want to greatly increase you chances of actually meeting a woman in person you should wait until your third message to get her number or meet up in person.
6. Drink dates are popular but it can be good to mix it up
“Drinks” was the standard date most guys (32%) opted for in their first online dating message.
Drinks aren’t bad.
A few drinks helps to loosen people up and allows us to have better conversations.
But did you know that only 1% of guys asked older women out to dancing?!
That’s needs to change.
Dancing is a fantastic first or second date (even if you can't dance).
It allows you to show that you can take charge, have fun, and that you are not afraid to try something you might not be great at.
If you’re scared of going dancing because you don’t know how, take some basic lessons.
You don’t have to be amazing, but taking a dancing class once a week for part of the year will put you in the top 10% of guys and give you a HUGE advantage over everyone else.
7. Asking for sex straight up happens but not as much as you might think
Asking for sex right away is VERY polarizing in your first online dating message.
While you may be able to find some success with this tactic it is typically a pretty low percentage move.
Every woman that we spoke to was extremely creeped out by the guys who sent these messages.
It probably didn't help that these guys almost always spelled something wrong!
Most likely, you’ll be scaring away a ton of women who MIGHT be down, but are afraid of committing to sex right away, or are unfortunately afraid of being thought of as “easy”.
Only 2% of men asked for sex as the first date.
Intuitively, most of us guys know that if we ask a girl to have sex with us straight away, the answer is most likely going to be “No.”
If you’d like to REALLY play the numbers game this could work, assuming you have an amazing body and pictures, and you’re looking for a woman who just wants sex.
8. Most guys leave the date general but you need to make it specific
Most men chose to leave the date as something general, like hanging out (around 30%).
Far less men made it something specific, like visiting a landmark in the city (6%).
Leaving it open and general is “safer”: There’s less risk of pushback or rejection if she doesn’t like your suggestion.
But being specific is better.
Not only can you screen to find out if you’ll like the woman (if she hates what you want to take her to), but feminine energy prefers having a specific and guided plan.
The more open you leave it, the less the woman feels like she can relax.
Especially when it comes to older women, you want to let her know that you have your shit together.
What To Say In First Online Dating Message
So, keep it specific: 8PM at the *neighborhood* park.
9. Thinking about telling her that she’s beautiful?
Most guys shied away when it came to using more sexually charged language.
What To Say In A Dating Site First Email Account
29% of men told a woman that she was beautiful, but only 5% said that she was sexy.
While it’s good to be complimenting her, again, don’t be afraid of rejection.
Flirt online with a woman online to keep her interested (but not TOO much like asking for sex right away).
You’ll be screening out girls who aren’t interested.
From all these takeaways you should know that it’s better to be DIFFERENT.
You DON’T want to be doing the same thing all other guys do, because you’ll just get lost in the crowd.
Here are some helpful tips from the 10 takeaways that can help you stand out:
- Keep the first message short (under 20 words) and send it after work (7pm) or during lunch.
- Don’t just make the first message, “Hi.” Make it punchy, like a question or a statement that intrigues her.
- If you’re going to compliment her, don’t make it generic. It’s better to make it about a specific character trait or body part.
- Don’t be afraid to tell her about yourself, but try not making it about your fitness level or height.
- Asking for sex is EXTREMELY polarizing - you probably won’t get many dates, but when you do….
- Ask her out on a very SPECIFIC date: “Let’s meet at XPM at Y place.”